Yardsticks

Kinsman Glade

Measuring things can be tricky, especially given how we relate to the thing that is measured. One might think that more snow is obviously better. Fourteen inches must be better than seven inches, perhaps even twice as good. Or perhaps not. Other measurements are at play as well: temperatures, crowds, snow consistency, lift line waits, duration of untracked, crowd frenzy, etc.

But the biggest measurement is whether you have anyone to share your runs with. This is a binary measurement: solo or not. I’ll always take seven inches of uncrowded bliss with a ski partner over fourteen inches solo among the crowds.

Cannon Trees

Cannon Trees

Cannon Trees

Cannonballer called me out in the tram queue and it was on. We dropped into an untracked Vista Way and found amazing coverage on the often barren skier’s right. The snow was supportive, dense, and surfy. We returned for a second run of more untracked followed by Upper Cannon and then again back to Vista to clean up.

Where was everyone? The “crowds” would not hit until later. But even then, most lifts were ski on throughout the morning.

I couldn’t help but suggest Kinsman Glade. Kinsman is one of my least favorite glades at Cannon due to its lack of maintenance and often horrid conditions. But with so few people at the summit and the snow being so supportive, this was definitely a Kinsman Glade day. Cannonballer obliged and it was killer.

Cannon Trees

After that, despite the late morning hour, I found some astounding untracked trees at Mittersill. Around 11:00am, I dropped into a completely untracked Upper Birches. Off map run followed by off map run, I slowly made my way back to the Tram and wrapped things up so I could get back for my evening shift at work.

Cannon Trees

Deconstruction

Upper HardScrabble

“What was I expecting?”

The thought came to me about half way up a pseudo-skin track on Upper Ravine. A few inches of wind slabbed snow had mostly covered up the skin track, but a faint outline was occasionally still visible. Getting off the track wasn’t horrible, but staying on the invisible balance beam was much more enjoyable.

I turned back and to my right. Looking up to Mount Jackson, I could see a fellow skier descending the Saddle having skinned up via Mittersill. I was not completely alone which lessened the isolating feeling of knowing that you are fucked if something goes wrong. It was simultaneously comforting and annoying.

“What was I expecting? I deconstructed everything. What did I expect was going to happen?”

Upper HardScrabble

Twenty years ago or so, I started saying “the only way you can understand anything is to question everything.” But the logical conclusion of doing so is knowing everything and nothing at the same time. Paralysis. The world would be a better place if things happened based on knowledge.

But knowledge doesn’t cause things to happen. Feeling and drive and motivation and passion make things happen. Knowledge didn’t make me skin up Cannon without a partner three times during this past week. Not very smart, but a helluva lot of fun. Skiing might be the last thing that I have yet to deconstruct.

The one final aspect of reckless abandon that I have left. I treasure it.

It will not be deconstructed.

Keep Going

Upper Hardscrabble

Avalanche

Same skin track, different day. I’m all alone this time. Step. Step. Step.

A few more tracks. Still plenty of untracked. Move. Keep going.

All the way to the summit this time. The legs are still sore from Saturday. Shut up, legs.

Middle Hardscrabble

Turns. Beautiful turns.

Big, wide open, hard charging, bottomless turns. Right down the center of Middle Hardscrabble. Bewildering.

And then more bottomless turns on Zoomer. And again. Zoom Zoom.

Amazing.

Taft Slalom

Taft Slalom

Endurance

Zoomer

knowing how to endure is wisdom
not knowing is to suffer in vain

-lao-tzu (trans. red pine)

Memories trick us into believing that we are Ships of Theseus — that our essence is unchangeable. But memories are fallible, created by emotion. Memories are often false. They are visions of how we wished events happened rather than what actually happened. We are constantly changing, waking up slightly different than the day before. Our brains unconsciously clear themselves of excess baggage, enacting self defense mechanisms to shield our fragile egos.

I woke one day and realized that I wasn’t the same as I used to be. What happened to the unending passion and drive? The wants, needs, and desires were still there but not the energy nor will. What happens when you overcome all of the obstacles that you sought out? What happens when the only obstacle remaining is yourself, but that challenge turns into an utter failure?

Middle Hardscrabble

What happens is you get over yourself. Things will never be as they once were. I am a Ship of Theseus that has been slowly dismantled and rebuilt piece by piece until nothing remains of my past drives. Understanding that fact and accepting that fact — internalizing that fact — are two very different things.

Enduring is action. Action is movement. The old drives and will have failed. Keep moving. It doesn’t matter if there is no goal or objective or passion or will. It doesn’t matter that it doesn’t feel like it used to. It never was going to and it never will. Not for me. Not for anyone.

Movement begets movement. Keep moving. You don’t need a reason. You don’t need motivation. You don’t need passion.

Just move. Just endure.

Steve on Avalanche

A Cannon Day

20170213cannon03

A Cannon Day: It is good for what ails you.

Fourteen hours ago, it seemed like this powder day was not to be. I got up, took out the dog, and sat down looking out the window, dead eyes. I felt absolutely wasted. I had not been feeling well for days and the cold hit hard Saturday and Sunday. I knew that a foot of fresh was awaiting, but my body said “no way”. I sat there for half an hour watching the minutes tick away. I had to make a go decision soon to make first chair. I chugged some water, tossed some medicine in my bag, and got moving. I might not be able to ski much but I sure as heck was going to try.

I can report that I have found the cure for the common cold and it is a powder day at Cannon. Once I got going, I felt better every run. As per my usual plan of attack at Cannon, I started on Zoomer and found about eight inches over scratch on the groomers. Untracked on top of groomer is my favorite powder condition (since I get to ski it so rarely) but powder on top of scratch is not so hot. Lower angle Rocket had the best snow of this variety. But the better and deeper action was in the trees as I found in Lakeview and Echo.

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