There is only one way to ascend top to bottom at Cannon Mountain: The Tram. Some might prefer other modes of ascent that favor open spaces, fresh air, and elbow room (like the Peabody and Cannonball Quads). These options have their perks. But top to bottom at Cannon via the Tram is the only way to go! Why else would I have based my morning adventure from Tramside?

I debated lapping the Front Five but unfortunately the Zoomer Chair is not yet online. This is because Cannon has not yet blown enough base on Gary’s and Rocket. Personally, I am glad that Cannon Mountain is concerned about my safety and has roped off the Front Five trails until enough man made base has been laid down. The “blower pow” that recently fell is certainly not enough to warrant opening these unpruned trails. Amazingly, these trails were already tracked up by unreasonable fellows who care not for their bases.

Crowds were surprisingly non-existent. I felt like I had the entire mountain to myself, what a treat! As you can see, no other skiers were on the Peabody Chair as I was ascending. My perfect solitude and peacefulness was only interrupted by the incessant roar of snow making on Gary’s, Rocket, and Bypass. I was so glad to hear the guns roaring! Thankfully, Cannon is burying all of that nasty “blower powder” with an icy man made base.

For my only run from the summit, I opted to ski Tramway. Despite my early start and the lack of crowds, some crazed lunatic had set in a lone track up what would have been a perfect untouched canvas. Unreal! Much to my chagrin, Cannon had not yet groomed Tramway! I had to deal with almost two feet of untracked powder with balls deep drifts. Worse yet, the powder snow was getting all up into my face and making visibility difficult. More unreality! I double ejected Superman style twice due to unseen waterbars and slammed frozen into a wall of waist deep drifted snow. The lack of attention to this trail by Cannon management is astounding.

I found much better skiing on Bypass. The powder had been buried under massive icy snowmaking whales. I delighted in sliding for dear life on these frozen mounds of McSludge. Far too soon, I reached the final pitch of Bypass where I encountered more wonderful snow making at the top of Paulie’s Extension! Thinking to avoid the spray from the snow gun, I stayed skier’s right. But I accidentally found myself on the other side of a safety rope on Paulie’s Extension. Oh no!

For sure my bases would be ruined here. But somehow they survived unscathed despite the powder being this “blower” variety that so many people that had not skied it were talking about. I wanted off of this cursed mountain as soon as possible, so I threw caution to the wind and really let the skis fly down this gauntlet of peril. I tried to ski into tracks that had been left from yesterday, but my skis kept hooking up into the untracked. I howled with rage.

My base area choice was severely miscalculated as none of the Front Five trails were open. Due to snow making operations on Gary’s and Rocket, options at this point were severely limited. I tried to find the entrance to one of my favorite trails at Cannon–Zoomalanche–but I turned right too soon and I found myself at the top of the steeply pitched Avalanche trail. My bases were doomed for sure!

Since the snow depth was just under a foot and a half, the waterbars were mercifully more visible than on Tramway. Again, my skis had a mind of their own and found untracked lines all over the trail despite the existence of so many other tracks. I hollered bloody murder about the unfairness of my plight. I could have skied groomers down to Peabody Base if I had only turned left into the snow gun at the bottom of Bypass.

Mercifully, this folly of an excursion was finally over and I gladly skied back to my car where I found the Tramside base area starting to come to life. I sped back to Plymouth with all due haste ensuring I arrived at work on time. I was so glad to be back behind my desk with the nightmare of this morning’s ill advised run behind me. It was like eating a live toad first thing in the morning!